My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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