So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My penis needs a shock collar
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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