oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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