Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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