You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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