It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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