btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
