You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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