Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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