Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
