you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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