i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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