Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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