I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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