her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
