oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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