He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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