First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
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there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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