Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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