Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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