Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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