Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
