It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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