She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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