ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
