We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
