And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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