im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
