just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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