"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i have two assholes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
After tacos, we're chasing women.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
