ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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