I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize