kristin has been a bad kristin
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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