Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
