To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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