I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
