hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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