I hate your face
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
