I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Green mimosas i think yes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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