Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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