Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
