Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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