shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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