I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
where am i from again
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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