just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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