He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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