She said her name was "party"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
