Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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