I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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