Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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