Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
