PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
