Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
