I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
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Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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