Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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