There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize