I'm really into asian looking animals
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
