Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
