Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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