The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
