Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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