can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
